MY GRANDMOTHER MILLER

Tears were flowing as I awoke this morning. My dreams had been of my dear sweet Grandma Miller. My prescious Grandmother died of cancer when I was about 15 years old. Unconsolable tears flowed at her memory.
Amelia Gay Pritchard Miller was my father's mother and mother to 4 girls and 3 boys. Her life was filled with hard work and health problems in the form of diabetis, then cancer. My memories are of a smile on her face of beauty and grace. The way she carried herself and her stature were equal in grace and beauty to that of a Queen! ( Life did not deal me that grace and poise which I so desired my whole life, but I was content to observe hers!)
Much of her life was spent raising those 7 children in a small home with a woodburning stove, antique piano, stairs to my favorite attic bedroom, a huge garden and flowers. Her lot in life was hard work as water had to be carried, wood carried for fires for warmth and cooking, meals to be made from scratch, and cleaning, canning, washing and hanging clothes by hand! It makes me tired to even think about it!!
The mystique of her home was that she lived on an island that had a ferry boat as the only access. Up on the top of a hill was her rustic barn wood home with smoke flowing in the encircling wind. One of my favoritest (not a word, but totally explains my feelings :) ) parts of her home was her own nearby, private forest with its aroma of soft fresh moist earth, it's dense trunks of large bushy pine trees, mushrooms, vines of exquisite beauty and depth of darkness that was so intriguing (as well as a bit of eeriness about it--perhaps monsters or little elves or fairies lived amongst the thick underbrush of growth on its earthy floor....)!
There were cherry trees galore with dark sweet fruit of most deliscious taste!! There were fresh peas from the garden to pick, remove strings and open to the beauty and fragrance of those little green delicacies ready to be popped in the mouth! To this day, I still can smell the flowers, earthiness of the forest, freshness of a recent rain, fragrance of fresh cut wood and the beauty it all envelops.
A special tree swing was set in a forest area behind the woodshed. One of my favorite "secret" hideouts to relish in the quiet elegance of my surroundings. There was also the forbidden hill of which intrigued me to no end. What DID lie beyond my boundaries and why forbid me to hike to those cherry trees which were calling my name. Many times temptation was so inticing that it was hard to bear. My respect and love for my grandmother prevented my adventure from progressing.
My grandfather, however, had a gruff outer core that made him appear unapproachable and fearfully stern. Words were few and far between for him. Gardening was his joy and we never ventured near his perfect rows of vegetables on the side of the hill. Later years I remember him offering gum to my cousins and I. The desire of his heart was to be our friend, I am sure, but years of cold stares and stern voice still pressed in my memory. My greatest regret is that I never really got to know him!!! :( Most did not. My dad's memories of him will have to be another blog......
There were many special treasures and letters exchanged between myself and Grandma. You see, 2 1/2 days journey in the car seperated my dear cherished relative from me. Summers were ecstaticly anticipated, because they meant a visit to the island! Even 2 1/2 days travel, stuck in a hot vehicle for "millions" of miles did not deter me from the pleasure of our reunion.
There was an upstairs bedroom that my aunt slept in that envelops me in a rapture of contentment even to this day. You see, a window in that room overlooked the puget sound with its foggy mist, and rock filled ocean beach which could all be seen from that window. A mysterious somewhat distant house also fit into the scene, with heather, lilacs, and vines of ivy enveloping its distant presence creating a euphoric, stategic aura of mystery to this scene framed by the window. To this day, I still call forth that scene when I cannot fall asleep at night. This is the scene: It starts with our car climbing the steep incline of the hill as it curves around to the front door. Green ferns, vines, ivy, pine trees, and luscious wispy growth cover the hill as we slowly progress up to the wonderful view of my grandmother on her steps with a huge smile and waving arm. After jubilantly exiting the car and exploding into my grandmothers loving arms, I enter and pass the smell of the wood burning stove, and cross in front of the elegant antique piano as I head to the base of the stairs leading to the upper rooms. As I enter my Aunts room,I throw open the window to breathe in the scene described above (I WILL REPEAT IT FOR YOU!!: You see, a window in that room overlooked the puget sound with its foggy mist, and rock filled ocean beach. A mysterious somewhat distant house also fit into the scene, with heather, lilacs, and vines of ivy enveloping its distant presence creating a euphoric, stategic aura of mystery to this scene framed in the window. I slowly drift off to sleep with my favorite smells and sights dancing softly in my head......

During our visit, there were (my favorite!!!!) walks in the forest accompanied by my cousins (to prevent us getting lost or........). Then to the ocean's pier to lean over with cans and catch the jellyfish with their delicate intricacies. (we always let them go after observing them for a short time.) Then for a walk along the beaches filled with little crabs by the hundreds. ( Well, needless to say, I stayed back and let everyone else experience these pinching demons at close range). Can you imagine it, they would even gather the tiny ones in their hands (shudder!!). Of course we had a week to create all these sacred memories.
As in all visits there have to be the departures to spoil the perfectness!! These would be spent sobbing my heart out and hugging and loving for the last time till another year passed. Heartwrenching sobs followed the next few hours as the distance between my beloved grandmother and I increased. How could I ever bear the waiting!!! Well, years passed with many more special memories until her death!! That was soooo hard!! Because of my Savior's atonement, however, I can and will visit with her again! Anxiously I am awaiting that greeting!! It will be even more beautiful and perfect than ever before!! Meanwhile, I have my space within me to retreat and relive those times and, even pass off to dreamland enjoying those happy peaceful thoughts!!! :)