June 17, 2010 --- Family Time!

As years go by and life's timer ticks away, my thoughts turn to my family. That includes each of my children, their spouses, my grandchildren, and yes, even my mother :)! Time has a crazy way of altering, changing, and destroying relationships. Friends may come and go, but family is there--FOREVER tied to us! The grim reaper (death) has a way of creeping into that meshing of family, but it still keeps families together forever!
Always throughout my life I worried that I would have regrets for actions taken and words spoken, and, yes, there are many times and situations that I have regrets for things not said or done, as well as for things said and done. I cannot change any of that, for all is etched in my personal life movie and cannot be altered. Only sins repented of can be removed and those, only if I change and make restitution to the best of my ability. One cannot wallow in self pity either for the words or actions of another. People, in most all instances of life, did not say or do things to intentionally hurt, maim, or injure another either physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. Life sometimes just "happens". Not excusing myself by any means but stating a fact. It just proves how crucial it is to stifle the act or words while they are still in the "thought" process. The aftermath of self-control--after the thought has hit the brain,- makes or breaks relationships. Hurt can result and is not an easy thing to let go of. My greatest fear is to hurt another (especially my kids, their spouses or grandchildren in even the slightest way!) There are enough "hurts" in the world to deal with than to come from those closest and dearest to our hearts or vice versus us to inflict hurts upon them!
Probably the greatest thing that I have learned in life as a result of Lloyd's death is how puny, insignificant and ridiculous are the words we allow to spring forth from our lips or the silly actions we feel we have the right to inflict. Life is too short. If Lloyd were here right now and was to say something that hurt me (I am often overly sensitive which I recently learned is a selfish act of pride--cringe!!!), I would rethink it out about how short life is and how I do not want to spend even a minute in wasted in a disagreement? Each second of life with a loved one is sacred time, never to be squished like a bug, but to hold dear to the heart and cherished for what it is--time to be pure and undefiled! If I were able to have a minute with Lloyd or any one of my children, their spouses or my grandchildren, I would hope that I would treat it with utmost priority to speak in love and affection for that person. My wish would be that all in the world, including myself of course, would always cherish life and minutes, especially where our family is concerned. That we might love each and every member and get to know each other for who they are and realize their strengths as well as the weaknesses and concentrate on those strengths!! Take time to get to know those that you are not as well acquainted with and strengthen those relationships and mend those worn spots that manage to cause damage to the tapestry of family relationships. My prayer and hope is that our family reunion will be an increase of love and learning for and about each other!!! I love every one of my family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!